Monday, January 17, 2011

Road Bump

So... for as far back as I can remember, I've gotten light-headed super easily. When I was little, I just thought I was a fainter. When I was an early teen, I thought it was puberty kicking in. When I started cheering, I thought it was because I just wasn't in shape and didn't push myself enough. The out of shape feeling continued into my twenties and then when I was pregnant I assumed it was part of the package. Well, at the end of summer I had a pretty scary episode where I thought I fainted and it was just my son and I... not a happy summer memory. I went on with my everyday life after consulting my PCP and just took it as a light-headed moment. When all of this came to a head was mid-November. Long story short... I had a life changing moment which lead to test after test which lead to answers. I have a PFO (hole in the heart) which isn't at all uncommon - just uncommon for it to still be open in an adult. Me and Bret Michaels... two peas in a PFO pod! The passing out wasn't passing out - it turned out to be mini-strokes. I hope not to have another episode and try not to think about what could happen because I would truly drive myself absolutely insane!
The silver lining in all of this is that it makes me focus on what's important. Nice walks by our creek, listening to people - not just hearing, playing with Parker (the games I can actually understand :). I know it sounds hokey, but it's the truth.... I want to be here and completely present for my son and husband and not get caught up in the things that suck up energy... toxins as I call them. Toxins lurk around every corner - sometimes they have a pretty disguise and sometimes they put their intentions right out there. Either way, I'm focusing on a healthy life - certainly not perfect by any means but atleast healthy. More on the healthy changes soon - hopefully not several months later!