Thursday, May 5, 2011

Very Rarely Boring

So a friend recently said to me that for someone who stays home, I always have something to tell... so the story continues. Some stories don't need to be shared and those I'll keep to myself. But one I would like to share is that of a life ended way too soon. Last week we learned of an old friend who was sick and in the hospital. We immediately tried to think of what we could do to help as they have a one year old daughter and it didn't sound good. Memories of college antics and courtship, weddings and graduations, babies and houses - all of the things that made us an 'us.' This friend, Dan, was right in the middle of it. Dan didn't make it past the middle of the week or his third surgery. We were in shock and disbelief and there was a part of me that was hoping it was a collosal prank... a sick prank, but a prank. We are in our mid-thirties - how can we be losing friends already? I find myself thinking of his wife and daughter mainly. I know his mother and sister are hurting more than I could know and the friends whose lives were touched in similar ways to ours were in the same shock, but it's different. His wife's daily life is changed and shifted and she no longer has the partner she based her future upon. My thoughts and energy are with her as she's handling it all with an admirable strength and grace. I always find myself in positions where I don't quite know what to say when I want to say SO much. I don't know his wife terribly well but I've always liked her - she's very welcoming and warm, which is why I wasn't surprised to see how in love he was. He filled a room - someone said at his service that you always knew he was there... and I couldn't have said it better. Times like this make me hold my son a little tighter and linger in a kiss with my husband a little longer, take a little longer just sitting and enjoying my favorite tea or chatting with friends. Every day we all have a long list of things to do and the list will always backfill - always. Making the time to do those life enjoying moments in times of non-grief are what life is about. Don't sweat the small stuff (cliche but good advice) - if it doesn't matter, I let it go. Too many have died young around me, way too many in fact and I refuse to waste my energy focusing on things over which I have absolutely no control. Now if I can only believe this and live it - I'll be golden!