Wednesday, June 6, 2012

A thank you note to my mother-in-law

When someone passes away, I think it's only natural to
wonder what words went unsaid or what feelings went unexpressed.  My mother in law, Lynda, passed away suddenly and I feel fortunate to not have that wonder.  A few summers ago, she and I spent a great deal of time together one on one.  It was an unexpected closeness I felt for this woman I hadn't really gotten to know - I learned so much about her, her views, her family history. It was during this time that she was recovering from a broken ankle and trying to move past some dizzy spells so she was in a very vulnerable position.  During one of our visits in her apartment, I thanked her.  She looked at me with surprise and curiosity.  I told her I appreciated the husband she'd given me.  I told her that I appreciated her teaching her son to treat his wife with respect.  I thanked her for teaching him responsibility and determination.  I told her that I'm grateful that he was raised by a single mom because he learned things organically that you can't make up - he learned to do laundry, he learned to do dishes (without a dishwasher), he worked through high school and college, he learned to cook.  I'm not saying my husband doesn't give me enough material to fill a suggestion box, but I'm focusing on that for which I am thankful!  I'm glad I told her these things when I was thinking them because I could tell the words meant a lot to her.  I hope I'm raising my son to one day be a good husband and father also.  If he decides to be neither, I'll settle for a kind human being.

Rest in peace Lynda, you've certainly earned it.  I send you much love and gratitude.