Teamwork

Since my book came out in 2007, school visits have become one of my favorite activities. I love watching the 'audience' respond to my words and the questions they come up with during the Q&A portion... When I still had signings lined up, I was so excited to see students from a visit come to get an autographed copy. I've had students tell me that they love the story and they wish they could play like Nate, and I've also had students remind me that I'm not famous - 'you only have one book!' It's not all pretty; Eh-hem, moving on...

Every spring I do a writing workshop with a group of 4th grade students at a local elementary school in preparation for an annual writing test. This year, one of the fourth grade teachers invited me to come in for a Fall visit and chat with her class about the importance of teamwork - I chose to leave the book out of it. What I did instead was focus on not only the importance of helping your teammates reach their potential, but the necessity of you (as a teammate) pulling your own weight. We also did an exercise close to my heart - we re-enacted a coffee line from a coffee house that I frequent (hint: it rhymes with Marbucks). We wore aprons and had a customer give his order - give it to the cashier who called the order to the person writing it on the cup who called it to the barista who called it to the customer once it was made. The demonstration illustrated the importance of communication and how essential it is for everyone in that line to bring their A-game or it would all fall apart and in theory make the company lose money. It was one of my favorite visits thus far and I hope to develop it further to share it in more classes - my thought is that this could be spread to other classrooms, board rooms, clubs, teams - the sky's the limit... for trademarking purposes, I'll leave 'Marbucks' name out of it.

September 7th...

When my husband and I are looking at old pictures from college or our wedding or sports pics when our son was in preschool, we often look at individual people and discuss how different their lives are from the time of the snapshot. Several wedding guests are no longer married or friends and family have passed away or had several children or been paralyzed or moved to another country - life changes and sometimes we don't know why but if we're lucky we can appreciate it anyway.
10 years ago today I found out I was going to be a mom... life changing to say the least. I remember like it was yesterday being in the doctor's office by myself and being frozen in time. I got in the car and sat stunned praying to my grandmother (and Chip's), literally out loud asking these women to surround me in my mothering quest as it was complete uncharted territory.
It's one thing to babysit or to be an aunt but to be a mom was totally different - 24/7 dependence and were we up to the task? If there is ever a cure of being selfish or self absorbed, it's being a mom; at least for me that was the case.
The anticipation of telling everyone and how was probably the most excited since so many of our family members had kids already but technically the first to find out were Chip's students.... I sent him flowers to his classroom with a card that said, "You're going to be a GREAT dad!" That's how he found out and he called me from his classroom immediately and couldn't hide it from his students, whom he adored.
Four days later everyone's world was shaken but that's a blog for another day...
I feel like every time I write, I'm writing about learning something new through our son but it's so true - they aren't always things I want to learn (like the words to "Goofy Goober" or what the best cleaning methods for pee behind the toilets) but they are lessons none the less. If you had told me 10 years ago that I would be staying home - I wouldn't have seen it... but I'm glad I would have been wrong.

Off the Cliff...

This time of year has been one of angst for me for since I was younger than my son... who is in 4th grade. I'll be the first to totally admit that I am not good with change and the beginning of the school year is nothing but! I know there are lots of people who love the idea of the new school year but I'll love it once it becomes a more old hat. I absolutely love my son's new teacher and the school is amazing - just the stigma that I've held from elementary school all the way through college and has never been on hiatus because even before our son started school, my husband was a teacher - always symbolized change! It's the shift in schedules, the unknown, the fears of sending my baby into the clutches of evil kids who won't necessarily always be kind to him or include him -don't even get me started on approaching the age when girls are lurking around the corner ready to pounce (can I get a witness from any other moms?)... lots of different things working together to create this pressure cooker.

Waiting to find out teachers... the simmering starts

Buy supplies (all one hundred and one of them!)... a little warmer, but still simmering

Help with before school prep at the school... the pressure begins to build

Start Fall sports... the writer's cramp starts from checks and calendar adjustments

Buy school clothes... pressure builds and avoidance from online banking commences

Buy school shoes... (and discover my 'baby's' feet are bigger than mine!)

Open House... the lid starts rumbling

Lunches bought and healthy snacks thought out... heat building

Labor Day/pool closing... cool off temporarily because Tuesday is just around the corner - full blown pressure cooker!

Like I told a friend today - the ball has started rolling, I'm just ready to push it off the cliff already!

He has never shown the same overwhelming feeling (paralyzing at times) that I receive for school and I pray that he never does. He definitely gets uneasy but works himself through it and comes out just fine on the other side. I'm hoping he never 'smells the fear' - so far (miraculously) I've been able mask it... a skill that has also been a part of my life from a very young age.

For all of my fellow parents out there who may have a little trouble adjusting - take comfort in the fact that you are not alone (or a numbing libation - your choice). I'm shocked at my son's resilience every day and how adjusted he becomes so quickly...

I could learn a lot from him.

Quakin...

Okay - My husband and I decided to have a "writing date" at the local Starbucks this afternoon (or as my mom refers to it, my office). He convinced me that I need to get back in the swing of writing so laptop in hand, away we went. I got my tea, started my laptop, pulled up my blog and low and behold - earthquake! I have never felt an earthquake and didn't quite know what I was experiencing... luckily neither did the other sippers around us. It turned out to be a pretty shallow quake about 20 miles from us but it was felt up and down the east coast. I'm going to try and not take it as a sign that as I finally sit down to write - the earth shakes!
I'm tossing around a couple of ideas for articles to submit to a local magazine, working on a short story, and possibly trying my hand at novel writing - I'm hoping to make some headway on these lofty goals in the coming months. This summer my focus has been more on reading and fine tuning my taste in the kinds of 'voices' that I enjoy as a reader. Right now it's Perfection by Julie Metz that's sitting on my nightstand. I just finished Stories I Only Tell My Friends by Rob Lowe and it was the first in a long string of celebrity memoirs that I actually wanted to finish.
Not sure if anyone is even reading this but feel free to give me tips if you'd like to comment...

GPS... Recalculating

I don't own a GPS system but have borrowed one recently - I'm now hooked! There is something overtly comforting to know you will always know where you are headed when you have this system turned on. If you make a wrong turn, it recalculates and tells you so - then tells you how to get back on track. I was thinking about how soothing it would be to have a life GPS - you can take turns on a whim and if it's a wrong turn, it'll recalculate you back on the right path. There are so many uncertainties in life - would be nice, huh?

Moms...

I just had a chat with a friend yesterday (over our homemade coconut cheesecake which she served us for lunch) about another blog and their topics of different pitfalls for different moms. There are so many different types of moms whether it be discipline differences, work differences, socio-economic differences, age differences - the list is endless. I myself have been both a working mom and now a stay at home mom (who every now and then has meetings about random writing jobs). What my pal and I were chatting about was the opinion so many fellow moms have of SAHM (stay at home moms)... we have nothing to say or add to a conversation. The debate of which is better or harder are endless and both have very viable arguments. The only thing I can speak to is that most of the moms that stay at home around me or are in my social group are educated and super interesting women. Some had very high stress and demanding jobs outside of the home pre-staying home. Some have very difficult kids (be they physical or bratty limitations), difficult husbands, difficult teachers... it's not all talk shows and pool parties (although I need to wrap this up to join some ladies at the pool :). We need breaks just like anyone else needs a day off - only our request processor is generally a cranky toddler or an opinionated 9 year old! The truth is that it was a big adjustment when I started to stay home. Admittedly, I still had my 1 year old still go to the babysitter one day a week so I could ease into it one toe at a time. When I did have him at home with me full time a few months later, I always felt guilt about how I should be spending my time. Should I have the house clean everyday when my husband came home or have dinner waiting - Should my son be well behaved in public because I couldn't blame the bad habits on what he was picking up at the sitters - it was all me all the time and it was a lot of pressure. What I've come to realize is that these fears are still there, but all moms (working or not) feel the same pressures and fears... the tough obstacle are those moms who pretend they don't and try to make other moms feel inferior - luckily, I don't surround myself with these kinds of ladies - my ladies are real, genuine women who I am very lucky to have in my life.
I love staying at home with my son and am grateful to have a partner who supports my decision but I am very well aware that it's not for every one's patience level nor is it every woman's desire. All I ask is that you know that I speak for the moms everywhere who like to have conversations about topics that don't have to do with the best deal on notebooks, laundry detergents, or recipes... those tips are appreciated though! We read, we've studied, we struggle and defend...

Very Rarely Boring

So a friend recently said to me that for someone who stays home, I always have something to tell... so the story continues. Some stories don't need to be shared and those I'll keep to myself. But one I would like to share is that of a life ended way too soon. Last week we learned of an old friend who was sick and in the hospital. We immediately tried to think of what we could do to help as they have a one year old daughter and it didn't sound good. Memories of college antics and courtship, weddings and graduations, babies and houses - all of the things that made us an 'us.' This friend, Dan, was right in the middle of it. Dan didn't make it past the middle of the week or his third surgery. We were in shock and disbelief and there was a part of me that was hoping it was a collosal prank... a sick prank, but a prank. We are in our mid-thirties - how can we be losing friends already? I find myself thinking of his wife and daughter mainly. I know his mother and sister are hurting more than I could know and the friends whose lives were touched in similar ways to ours were in the same shock, but it's different. His wife's daily life is changed and shifted and she no longer has the partner she based her future upon. My thoughts and energy are with her as she's handling it all with an admirable strength and grace. I always find myself in positions where I don't quite know what to say when I want to say SO much. I don't know his wife terribly well but I've always liked her - she's very welcoming and warm, which is why I wasn't surprised to see how in love he was. He filled a room - someone said at his service that you always knew he was there... and I couldn't have said it better. Times like this make me hold my son a little tighter and linger in a kiss with my husband a little longer, take a little longer just sitting and enjoying my favorite tea or chatting with friends. Every day we all have a long list of things to do and the list will always backfill - always. Making the time to do those life enjoying moments in times of non-grief are what life is about. Don't sweat the small stuff (cliche but good advice) - if it doesn't matter, I let it go. Too many have died young around me, way too many in fact and I refuse to waste my energy focusing on things over which I have absolutely no control. Now if I can only believe this and live it - I'll be golden!