Dreaming in Color

Wow - I have never taken any dreams seriously - sometimes look for hidden messages, as I was raised in an ultra superstitious family - but that's about it. This morning was different - I felt this dream and was living amongst it - I put myself behind the eyes of this dreamviewer and it was really inspiring. I once saw an interview with Twilight author, Stephenie Meyer and she said that the start of the saga came to her in a dream - the meadow scene from the first book - and when she woke up, went to her computer and wrote it. The story developed from there. She had never written before and just went for it... obviously it paid off for her. Knowing that, when I woke up thinking so intently about this vision for a story (a novel) - I avoided conversation once I got out of bed, cleared my head a little to see what was foggy and what was still in my brain and went straight for my laptop - I typed feverishly as ideas flowed and more plot twists emerged. I focused on the most vivid part of my dream and just branched off from there - loving every second. Characters started to come out on the keys and the dynamic characters - I can tell already - will be hovering over my thoughts until they are developed on the page. I think the thing I like the most about this story is that there is a very strong female presence throughout the story - it wasn't even intentional, but as I went back to read over what I had written and the outline for the basic storyline, it was what transpired naturally. It just makes me happy to get into the writing spirit once and for all - ideas have been coming over me for the past couple of months - three different ones that are very strong still, but that hadn't flowed, they will - but this one I think will have to take the front seat for right now. Whatever the story, I'm just happy to have my creative flow here for the first time in a long time and finally feel like I am putting a little of my college education (and student loans) to good use. Stay tuned... :)

What a difference a year makes...

I just opened up my blog for the first time in almost a year - I can't believe it, but it's true... January 2010! So much has happened and reading what I said at that point in time from that perspective is absolutely continuing bigger and better today - for so many different reasons. First and foremost, I have taken the healthy living to the next level. I went from trying to eat a little healthier to, on mother's day, joining weight watchers. That was life changing for me. It's been 8 months and I have not only developed friendships with my Sunday morning meeting crew, but a group of people who offer encouragement, support for the stumbles, and understanding of the issue that has nothing to do with small cravings here and there. I have also tried to kick up the walking to more of a run/walk and completed my first 5K (walking some also) but I did it with my husband - who has been super supportive of my WW ventures as well. Since November of '08 I've lost about 52 lbs and I feel such a difference. My options are more open and for the first time in a long time I actually enjoy shopping and can feel more comfortable in my own skin - if that makes sense.

The last time I wrote in my blog I wrote about too many people dying young around me due to unhealthy lifestyles and life choices and in June of 2009, another one bit the dust. This time, much closer to home than I could have imagined. My father. I have known for quite some time that he wasn't taking care of himself - breathing and heart problems for years now but nothing really changed behind the problems. The eating stayed the same however now he was stagnant so virtually no physical activity at all. The smoking continued - in fact apparently he was smoking on the porch when the rescue squad came for him following his call - which would be his last as he lost consciousness on the way to the hospital and it was never regained after a week in the hospital on machines. It was surreal looking through pictures that were sent to us by his sister from when he was younger - looking through pictures when he was married to my mother and then to my stepmother (who was coincidentally one of the ones I was speaking of in my March '09 blog regarding dying young). He was so healthy, active, vibrant - and life snowballs sometimes. There is a picture of him holding me when I was about 1 year old - I had never seen this picture nor have I ever seen a picture of myself with my father when I was a baby and I couldn't help but get frustrated that I couldn't ask him anything about any of that - that time in my life, his life. I'm getting ready to turn 34 in a couple of weeks and all I can think of is how I'm trying to change my lifestyle and focus so that I can set a good example for my son and be here for him as he gets older - I try to remind him every chance I get that I am doing WW b/c I want to be healthy... I don't want him to think I'm dieting or depriving - this is a very conscious decision to change my life and this past year has been a great start.