I decided I would buy a menorah instead of using hers. I wanted to have the option of celebrating again if so desired and also wanted to see what it was like to try and find things for Hanukkah in the stores - which wasn't in abundance FYI.
I began to collect small gifts to give my son for the eight nights of blessings and lighting of the menorah. My mom was a good sport and contributed to my collection of gifts.
I was raised Roman Catholic and come from generations of devout Catholics. I knew nothing of Judaism (still have only scratched the surface) and wanted to be able to answer questions that my son may have as he gets older with some semblance of education. I'm definitely interested in other religions or beliefs than my own. I don't have to agree with someone to understand what they are about - for that matter there are aspects to my own religion that I don't completely agree with but the segments that I do believe overpower those. We were a little late to organized religion as a couple as my husband and I are very spiritual in each other - it's gotten us through some really difficult times. We both wanted to give our son the experience of a church community. Luckily we found one right near us that we really like and felt at home in right away... but I digress.
The first day of Hanukkah came and my son was asleep when I got home with the menorah - great, day one and I'm already breaking the tradition of lighting the menorah at sundown! What I envisioned of us standing around the menorah as a family each night saying blessings and enjoying the spirit is not what happened - and that's okay. It wasn't really fair of me to assume that I was delving into a whole other belief system for research purposes didn't mean that my boys had to also. My son was asleep (as I mentioned) and my husband was in the kitchen beside me wearing his Christmas PJ bottoms and eating a Christmas tree snack cake - he insists that this was not in symbolic protest but I have my doubts. After this, I knew that I was pretty much in it on my own.
Day two - the son was awake as we did it at sundown and I was able to teach him that the candle that goes in the middle and is the only one we light with a lighter is called the shamash. Also the order in which you place and light the candles is in respect to the miracle of the oil and light. He did enjoy that but mainly was interested in his gifts - even though some of them really had no meaning to him... a dreidel, some gelt, ornaments, a winter hat... he got plenty for Christmas so there was no reason to go crazy!
The subsequent days were enjoyable for me. I would light the menorah and sit in the quiet room and either pray for the many people in my life that I was thinking about during the holidays especially. According to what I read, you really shouldn't do any kind of work while the candles are burning and this part was very nice and peaceful. It happened to always be a time that my boys were either upstairs doing something else or outside for one reason or another. The blessings to be read really weren't anything different than I would say myself - that is the one rule I had for myself that if I was going to learn another custom, I wouldn't say anything I didn't believe. Mainly thanking God for bringing me to this point in this season - keeping me strong (obviously paraphrasing).
On the last night (which was after the craziness of our Christmas celebrations were finished), I decided to go to the kosher section in the grocery store and buy some supplies. We had potato latkes, some tea biscuits (which are very low in WW points BTW), and some challah bread. We also lit a candle of remembrance to think about the loved ones we've lost. My boys had none of the festive eating options but were polite about it... again - I didn't push (said in my best Linda Richmond voice and hand gesture).
All in all - a great experience that I'm really glad I did. The observer/writer in me likes to see things from other perspectives and viewpoints and this was a great way to do that.
On the Eighth Day of Hanukkah
the season gave to me...
Eight candles burning,
Seven potato latkes,
Six spinning dreidels,
Five books to read!
Four coins of gelt,
Three praying folks,
Two reluctant boys,
and A wiser mom for my kid!
2 comments:
I love this!
My mom is Jewish, my dad Christian so I was raised culturally celebrating all of the holidays but in terms of religion it was always just Judaism. As a teenager I told my mom I only wanted to celebrate Hanukkah, but we continued with both (though we stopped getting a Christmas tree at that point) because my mom said it would hurt my dad's feelings if we didn't do Christmas.
I still primarily celebrate Hanukkah but I do spend Christmas day with my parents and give them their presents then. I also spend one night of Hanukkah with Christian friends each year, lighting the candles, making latkes and teaching their young daughter about other traditions.
I think it's very cool that you celebrated Hanukkah and I'm really glad you enjoyed it!
Congratulations…you did it again! Although my first reaction when you told me that you were including Hanukkah in the McNamara’s holidays was, ‘HUH’???, it quickly turned to ‘that’s my baby…wanting to expose Parker to other religions and traditions’. Then my heart began to swell with a little bit more pride.
One of your many gifts is the time you devote to ensure authenticity and purity in your research…AND the reason I want to be you when I grow up…your commitment to organizing your findings and tools for complete follow through. I’m always in awe of how easy and effortless it appears to be for you …
My hope for 2012 is to practice the lessons you are continually teaching me by example. I’ve placed one of the Hanukkah lessons at the top of my list; something you’ve been attempting to drill into my head, btw… to give myself permission to be still and enjoy peaceful, quiet moments.
I love you for being you…know that I’m listening and slowly learning. Remember to keep the faith that one day it will sink in…after all; I’m still a work in progress!
xoxoxoxo
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