Addiction

I have an addictive personality - whether it be good things like being addicted to 'laughing cow' cheese on triscuits or over cleaning or bad things like too many bite sized candy bars and krispy creme donuts! I have now spread this problem to reading. I have never been a fast reader and this trait has directly affected my enjoyment of books. I have always been envious of my husbands ability to read several books in a weeks time or how he would come home from the library with a stack of new books - I never got it. I do love words - can't deny that - but because of the formula lack of patience + short attention span + slow reading = no interest in reading. Simple algebra but luckily I've turned it around recently. I don't know exactly which book started the ball rolling, but I read "The Middle Place" (which I've raved about) back in the spring which led to the author (Kelly Corrigan) recommending two books to me which I read and enjoyed - had to really think a lot following those two books because of the inner struggles the protagonists felt. A few book club books followed in a short lived book club effort - I then read a few other southern kick-tail women books which were fun and recommended to me by my sister-in-law. This lead recently into some books that were a little more heavy and political like 'In the Time of Butterflies' and 'Before we were free.' I feel like those could have given a little more to the content but gave me a great boost in reading. Instead of turning on the DVR'd shows which I had missed, when I got free time I would start seeking out books. I read Chelsea Handler's, 'Are you there Vodka, It's me Chelsea' very funny and well articulated - this is where the danger began and my addictive personality kicked in. I started reading constantly and any chance I got. I've totally neglected my house, writing, research (which technically reading is research for me) - I'd rather sneak a few pages whenever the opportunity presents itself. When my husband and son leave in the morning, I go straight for my latest book! The tip on the acknowledging the problem iceberg was the last book I read (finished it yesterday) - Pat Conroy's 'Beach Music.' A friend bought this book for me several years ago and I never read it because the text of 800 pages really intimidated me. I started on election day (a topic for another day) and took it with me everywhere - to visit my mom in the hospital, doctor's appointments, piano lessons, everywhere! I was so engrossed in this book and the multitude of dynamic characters I poured myself into it. While I look around my straighted just enough house, I am afraid to start another book... I think I should at least give my life a solid effort before my next bought of neglect. I feel like I should join a 12 step program at this point but don't know of any readers anonymous or RA chapters around here. I welcome book discussion for anyone who's interested.

Words

I absolutely love words... some more than others. In my English lit class from my second semester of college, we had to dissect a song to illustrate a certain literary theme. I had always memorized songs (like any child or teenager) but didn't know what anything really meant because I hadn't really ever thought about it. After that assignment, I've done it ever since. There are so many songs that really get you thinking and can also move you - not just love songs. This past week, Nikki Giovanni was signing her new children's book, "Hip Hop speaks to children" here in Richmond. I didn't know about it until it was too late to get tickets to her presentation, but luckily someone from the local children's book shop (who were a sponsor to the event) offered to have it signed for me. This book comes with a CD that is about 45 minutes of spoken word in the form of poems, stories, songs, and raps. I bought it for myself and my son but I think he's too young to really appreciate the art of listening to the words, not just the beat. I love a good beat and melody to a song also - don't get me wrong; the marriage between a good flow and powerful verse is unparalleled. The song, "Mr. Wendel" by Arrested Development is a really good one - it might take the first few times listening to really grasp the point... but it's worth the time.

Non-musically, I would say that anything Shakespearean is so far ahead of it's time it's amazing. My first time reading Shakespeare, it was so confusing, I couldn't even grasp the first page let alone the whole play. I think the first one I read was "Othello" - anyway, my professor recommended getting the book on tape and follow along - I tried and it really helped me listen and take in the story lines. The romantic twists and turns and the feuds and craziness and the conspiracies and jealousy - the remakes of his plays (modern movies) are all of the original wording, just modern settings. He was truly gifted.

I was able to listen to an author speak this week by the name of Julia Alvarez. I only caught the end of her speech because of a prior commitment, but she was so inspirational. A lot of her writings are semi-autobiographical regarding coming of age as an 'outsider' the USA but yearning to fit it while clinging to her own heritage. Her writing is pretty powerful and I am really excited to read further. The part that was moving to me, as a writer, was the crowd and winding line waiting for her to resurface in the lobby to sign books. There were hundreds of readers and fans waiting with their books open to the title page for 2 seconds in front of her. I guess it's hard to grasp as a reader how pivotal that is because the book signings depicted on television have ropes blocking the way for lines of fans and flashbulbs coming from eager photographers - in reality, you have to reach a best selling status (at the least) to be sought out in such a way. It's an honor to have people affected by your words that much - I look forward to touching someone through my words more and more with every release.

My advice would be to pick some songs (different eras and genres) and really listen to the words - several times even.

BUNKO!

To a lot of different groups, Bunko can have a wide range of definitions. It's a dice game with 12 rounds - you roll 3 die at the same time and see how many times you can roll the number corresponding with the round number (round 1 - you try to roll ones - and so on). When you roll all 3 die with the same number as the round (round 1 - 3 ones - and so on :) - it's Bunko! Some groups play for cash prizes; some groups don't really play, they just drink; some groups are couple groups; the possibilities are almost infinite. I belong to a Bunko group that is made up of 12 ladies (not all in my neighborhood) who enjoy getting out once a month to relax and step outside of themselves a little. For that few hours a month, we are not just someones mom or wife or chauffeur - we are women and friends. Sure, we talk about our families and activities, but really it's minimal. We mainly tell stories (I love the ones that some may deem inappropriate), share restaurant reviews, tv recaps, or just enjoy the cocktail du jour (we usually enjoy a specific drink with the different hostesses). The food is different in every house also - ahhh, the food! Most of us don't even eat dinner before so we can fill up on the goodies the hostess has prepared. It has become my only steady vice. I'm very fortunate to have a husband who comes home early so I can get ready in peace and leave with zero guilt for not fixing dinner first or overseeing the bedtime routine. Not all women can say that - I know I'm lucky that way.

The group is so dynamic - no two of us are completely alike. We have corporate women, mothers of one, mothers of four, nurses, teachers, therapists - it definitely makes for great conversations. I've been a part of this group for going on three years now and we've had some pretty fun moments - I think one of my favorites was during an ipod playlist at one house, "Thriller" came through the speakers. I broke into the dance from the video and people rolled - they couldn't believe I knew the dance - I couldn't believe they didn't! What child of the 80's (or person who was alive during the 80's) wouldn't know this dance! I love making them laugh, so it was a great moment.

I raise my cocktail glass for all of those Bunko gals out there - mainly my group (not sure who reads this) - if you don't have a group... start one with 11 friends!

Back to school... back to reality

Luckily for me, my son really enjoys school. He loves to learn new things - which makes me so grateful because the beginning of school has always been a huge anxiety point for me. It's laden with new schedules, new classmates, new rooms and routines, a new teacher to get used to... just new. For most this is exciting and a fresh start - for me it's just different. After the first couple of days we'll have a whole new routine that will be the norm, I'm just kind of ready to get going.

The beginning of school also marks getting back to researching, writing, editing, promoting, and submitting. I'm ready because for the past few weeks I've been spinning my wheels with some ideas knowing I can really go full steam ahead starting next week. There are 3 different stories that have publishers interested - now the trick is to make it finalized. There are already a few upcoming events for the Rodney Ram book also and my favorite - school visits. Good luck for the new school year to anyone reading this entry!

Also - welcome to Lillian Grace! Since my last writing Brooke had her baby - Lilly's doing great and the whole family is so happy to have her here safe and sound...

Time...

Sometimes time is a good gift to give. It's free, it definitely always fits, and it's almost always appreciated (almost always). Lately it seems as though everyone is going a million miles per hour and for what? At the end of the day can we truly feel as though we've put a lot of time into improving our quality of life with all of the runnings here and there? Don't get me wrong, there are a lot of people who do some of their runnings to be with people who mean something to them or for someone who means something to them - these are the notches on our 'to do' lists that carry some weight. In the past couple of weeks, I've really taken some time out for some things that are important to me - letting people know how important they are to me, having pedicures with the ladies in my life, spending time with a good friend who's getting ready to have her second baby in 3 days... the important time investments. Another thing I took time out for recently was visiting a local organization called Childsavers. It is a group that helps children through developmental issues through trauma, birth, or abuse - it was a great place; warm, welcoming, private, and energetic. I was put into contact with them by my pal Brooke (the aforementioned pregnant one :) who has volunteered with them on several events over the past couple of years. We jointly donated 35 books to them and I look forward to learning more about them and volunteering more time.

Time is a funny thing - it seems endless on occasion but we have to remember that it isn't. Time is definitely a gift and not an infinite one. Take mental snapshots every now and then and create your own memories. Filling your time with things that mean something to you (even if they don't mean anything to others around you) is what it's all about. In my neck of the woods, the sun is shining, my hummingbird feeder is inhabited, and we're healthy... not a bad way to pass my time today.

With my own two hands

I love flowers... the color, smells, freshly cut grass... I enjoy the views of nature. I try every spring to plant flowers and veggies or prune and weed; but every year all I end up with are weeds and budless shrubbery. Well, this year, my hard work paid off with 2 ripe cherry tomatoes! All I had to do was pay *#)^ dollars for mulching, weeding, clearing and preventative measures against what had plagued my beds for seasons before; plant a tomato plant, cucumber plant, squash plant, forget-me-nots, countless hostas, 10 begonia bushes in my front retaining wall, and a few annuals back 3 springs. What I've gotten are 2 ripe cherry tomatoes! I do enjoy my begonias - they have flourished nicely after a close watch. I read the book, "The $64 Tomato" for a book club recently and I can relate on a much smaller scale. Gardening can be relaxing (when you aren't in the dead of summer midday) but it can also be extremely overwhelming not to mention a slippery slope. One thing truly leads to another after the prepping (which is a job in and of itself), the digging, the planting, the fertilizing, the watering, the weeding, and the pruning. It's almost maddening to an extent - you get kind of a tunnel vision. The gardening started as something for my son and I (the forget-me-nots and the veggies especially) but he lost interest kind of quickly when all that grew in the flower beds were weeds.

I'm proud of my tomatoes and continue to look at the one that remains (a small creature scavenged the first) as a trophy. Did I mention I don't like tomatoes? But I did it with my own two hands and I'm proud of them!

The Good Life

As I thought things were only going to get busier in the next couple of weeks - I need to remember my busyness is (sometimes) within my control. I'm sitting in my bed with my laptop on my lap, my son cuddled up to my arm and comfy pillows behind our necks. It's rare that he just wants to sit with me, but the fact that we are taking time to just sit and relax together (not run from this appointment to that practice) is really what the good life is all about. My signing is coming up this Friday and I have several other things that have been consuming my brain power, so taking time to just enjoy my son is the best. I asked Parker to help me write my latest blog - I asked him what the 'good life' is all about for him - what makes him happy. He said seeing his cousin Austin and his mommy and daddy make him happy. That's it - my window of cooperative togetherness was finished after that response. When I asked him if he had anything else that made him happy, he responded with the word 'no' several times to the tune of the theme from a Disney Channel show! I guess the point to all of this is that my husband and I are always telling our son what we should be grateful for (simple things)... food, our house, each other, being healthy, making it home safely from a trip; but I need to remember these things myself. It's so easy to think of what you don't have and dwell. In reality, there will always be something. There are a lot of people in my life that have things I would love to call my own, but they have bigger things to envy at that point... I repeat: There will always be something you need or need to do. So join me in my quest to appreciate those moments (like right now for me) where we can just sit and enjoy that (0r those) which makes up our good life.

The Only Child

Okay - this is a topic that's near and dear to my heart... The only child. I have one son and I have (in his 6 years) constantly heard, "well, he does that because he's an only child," or "He's the only child, so of course he'll react like that." It bugs the crud out of me because there are certain personality traits that go along with birth order and then there are just personality traits. I am the youngest but I am by no means the most spoiled in my family who gets babied; the same with my husband. As far as my only child goes, I see so many children around me (family and friends) that have multiple siblings but still have issues with needing attention or sharing or bickering. It's funny to me that when these children exhibit similar behaviors, it's because they are the oldest or in the middle - so is it really because Parker's an only child or can we stick any child into any template and rationalize behavior as we'd like? He may very well stay our only one, so we try very hard not to stop everything we are doing every time he wants something or doesn't want to do something. He is the light of our lives, just like any child or children would be. Can I really believe that I love my son any more than a mom who has 2, 3 or even 6? I don't believe that. I truly believe that we would be the same with 3 as we are with our 1. This is a very hot topic, but we (mainly I) hear people's opinion on my only child and possible subsequent children on a daily basis - but it's a very personal thing. Do I reel off my position on children every time I'm asked or even every other time? No. It's a very intimate piece of our lives. In a nutshell, there are many only children who are very coddled and babied; by the same token, there are many oldest children who are mature beyond their years and responsible for a lot; my point in this whole tidbit is that we shouldn't keep pegging children as "the sweet one," or "the spoiled one," or "the smart one." Enjoy the aspects of a child - in my only child's case - he has so many different sides, there is no way to peg him. Just when I think I can, he switches it up. The diversity in his personality keeps me on my toes - my guess is that this won't change any time soon. Let's love and enjoy them...



Oh - and if Chipper is reading this - which he swears he does :)... Happy 10th anniversary! I love you and feel very lucky for our 10 years; ups and downs; and our only child. I look forward to the 25th

We've Got Spirit!

So I feel like I'm going through a time machine. To those of you who have met me in adulthood, you may not realize that there is an orange and blue streak that runs through my veins. Those are my high school colors and I was voted "Most Spirited" in my senior superlatives for a reason! I was the co-captain of my cheering squad my senior year and [overly] involved - but I jump in feet first to whatever I do. Somehow I put off the spirited vibe, as closeted as I try to keep it, and was recently appointed to be the "Spiritwear Chairperson" for my son's school. The PTA board is a big deal there, so I don't want to disappoint and am cracking my self up with it! I am sitting on my bed right now surrounded by catalogs and budgets and notes... it's so fun but definitely a perfectionist's nightmare! I had to stop and laugh at myself because now I've gone from Lee-Davis colors to VCU colors to now everything I see is blue and green (his school colors) - it's a sickness! There will always be a cheerleader in me (not the crazy bouncy kind that needs to be bubbly all the time) who gets wrapped up in the camaraderie that comes along with a common thing to cheer for. Even something as small as wearing the same color at the same time for a common theme shows such camaraderie. Go Dolphins!

The Ride Continues

So this has been a crazy ride through promoting and such a learning experience - which has been immeasurable. The ride continues. I will continue promoting my book and spreading the message of teamwork into the end of the summer and into the Fall. I am really excited about being able to take advantage of the (upcoming) basketball season and the fact that the VCU Rams truly are great team players and there aren't any "ball hogs" - those of you who have read the story understand why that's important - is just icing on the cake. Coach Grant is an amazing coach (and person) and it is an honor for me to have a story with which he is a huge part. For right now (to anyone who isn't in a marketing or promoting state of mind this might be tough to understand) I just continue to move forward finding new opportunities and markets to promote the book. In the Fall, I'll start to really focus on new projects and submitting. There are new marketing opportunities every day and until I decide to stop the promotion, I'll continue full force. When people ask me what's new and I say that I'm still promoting, I think they look at me like I'm crazy because there has been so much of it already.
Something neat happened the other day at my son's swim meet. A fellow swim parent came up to me - an acquaintance at the time whom I had seen around the pool - and said, "Your book was recommended to me because my son is having a lot of trouble with competitiveness and being a team player," I didn't really know what to say - I was elated! I have had people that I know tell me that their child enjoyed the book or that they loved the pictures - but never has someone sought me out because another parent [who'd read the book] recommended it them. It was so validating because there is no greater thrill as a writer than to have someone talk to you about your words and how they affected their life.
I'm hoping there are only more and more of these fulfilling moments with readers as the promotion ride continues. Onward and upward with new projects to come!

What's on my mind?... Too much!

After days of contemplation regarding what I should write in my latest post, I couldn't narrow it down... so get ready for some subject jumps!
First - I'm tired of all of the judgement around me. Not necessarily directed toward me, but around me. Judging people's lifestyles or parenting; judging people's houses or cars; judging choices... I'm definitely guilty of it myself. I judge behavior but then I try to step back and think about how I can't stand to explain choices that I'm making. Honestly - I really do put myself in their shoes. One of my least favorite things in the world is explaining myself or answering questions about what I'm doing - why I'm doing it - who I'm doing it with... very frustrating in my book. Life is so short and I truly believe live and let live. My weakness in judging is when I feel like I need to protect my son from behavior or actions. We all hear, 'boys will be boys,' but there is a level of inappropriateness that I won't ignore.
Secondly - I've recently had a big life lesson in trust and integrity. I won't go into detail about it because those who betrayed my business trust don't deserve the acknowledgement in my writing. I will say it was like the wind had been knocked out of me when the breech of trust was confirmed. I literally had difficulty concentrating on anything that day and puzzle pieces started to fall into place regarding sequence of events. The only thing I can say is that integrity is a trait that I hold very near to my heart - hopefully those who have been colleagues or friends over the years know that my word is money in the bank. I come from a long line of paranoid folks...earning our trust is tough, keeping our trust is tougher, regaining our trust after it's been breeched is nearly impossible.
Thirdly (and lastly) - there has been a lot going on in my world lately and I've been a little at the end of my rope. I'm not saying that others don't have more or less going on - but in my reality - it has been a little rough. (side note - that's where some judgment comes in as well - what people have the right to be overwhelmed by - that's a blog for another day) I try to focus on what's really important to me and what's worth stressing over. Chip reminded me last night why I finally left my job to stay home (and write), that I was tired of being stressed to the limit over things that weren't important in the grand scheme of life. What is important right now is my son swimming for our swim team for the 2nd season and he's really doing great. He placed for the first time in a meet and earned points for the team - he got 4th place out of 23 swimmers in freestyle - he was super proud... obviously so am I! Go Marlins!!

Baggage

My mom and 2 sisters... with whom I share a POD filled with baggage!

We've all got baggage. Whether it be from skeletons in the closet or relationships; one way or another we've all got it. I find myself dissecting other people's baggage a lot lately and I can't help but think of my own. Upon my recent "dissection" I've come to realize that you can't move on in a relationship - any relationship - and just have a regular relationship without acknowledging the old baggage. A lot of the scenarios around me have been mother/daughter relationships but obviously it can be father/son (those that explore feelings), husband/wife, sister/sister... whomever. The tricky part to acknowledging old baggage is that sometimes you have to shrug your shoulders and realize that the other person is not going to validate the feelings you're exploring. While you are digging deeper and deeper within yourself to assure the stop of spreading like behaviors, you may realize the other half of said relationship doesn't agree with your assessment of how things have "gone down." This part really stinks - I've witnessed it in others and experienced it myself and I've gotten to the point where I literally shrug my shoulders and smile and understand that it's not going to change and there's nothing I can do about it. There is zero that I can do to change anyone else's behavior. I can only control how I handle their actions or words. It makes me come across as uncaring sometimes, but on the contrary if I let myself react the way my insides want to react, nothing good would come of it. To let my feelings out, I just vent to my husband (who is a great listener) and move on. If the issue is with my husband - that's a different topic altogether! The problem is that pesky baggage... when a smaller problem comes up with the same person, it becomes worse and worse over smaller and smaller things. They can call and you get annoyed when they leave a voicemail in a certain tone of voice or make the slightest gesture and it makes your blood boil.
The interesting thing to me is that there is always a flip side to the baggage. The other person either has their own baggage which has contributed to their actions or just a completely different perception of their actions. Usually getting to the bottom (or even little glimpses) of other's baggage, we come to a great respect for why they do the things they do. It's amazing the way things kind of fall into place when you are thinking of why someone is the way that they are... Aha!
My cousin gave all of the women in my family the movie "The Joy Luck Club" a few years ago for Christmas. This movie basically shows the progression of trickled down baggage from one generation to the next and how it shaped who these women became. To clarify - by baggage I mean things that people carry around with them - be it a certain childhood or a previous relationship (romantic or otherwise) - they carry it with them and it makes us who we are. Either we've overcome some baggage and we're stronger or it's in the back of our minds and it cripples us in ways. There are a couple of analogies (both happen to be travel related) that Chip and I use often when it comes to relationships. #1 - you have to secure your own oxygen mask before you help someone else (IE - you have to be okay with your own issues before you can be a positive entity in a relationship) #2 - if your arms are filled with your own suitcases at baggage claim, don't offer to help someone else get their bag off of the belt (IE - how in the world can you fit anyone else's "baggage" into your life if you are up to your eyebrows with issues of your own?) - know your limitations sometimes emotionally to have emotional room for what's important.
Old baggage isn't anything that people really think about often until they are ready to throw the phone across the room when they don't like how someone ended the conversation. That's not the kind of thing that bothers you unless you have old "stuff." You have to care about the person because people you don't care about don't make you angry - for long anyway. You can get angry because someone cut you off on the road or took your parking space or said something ridiculous in front of you; but lingering anger comes from caring.
My advice - try to resolve old issues before they eat away at you. Don't let the other person's actions effect your progress. If they refuse to acknowledge or validate your feelings - come to acceptance of who they are on your own.... I know it's much easier said than done. But in the end, it's your own blood pressure that is going to pay the price if you don't...

Memorial Day

The true meaning of Memorial Day is something that obviously resonates especially right now. That's a tall order to teach my six year old. I do know that soldiers scare him because he associates them with dying and war - no matter how much shelter you try to provide from reality of the state of affairs, you can't protect them from every song that seeps through or every newspaper clipping now that he's reading. What I try to do is point out all of the soldiers in our life (friends and family) that have fought for our country and are still her to talk about it. I found out I was pregnant with him on Sept. 7 2001, so he has never lived in a non-war America. I want him to understand what the military is about and what America is [at the core] really about. He's starting to get it and I try at every turn to help him understand that soldiers fight for our freedom and make sure that America is safe and protected. He has begun to recite the pledge whenever he sees a flag and puts his hand over his heart - and I love it! I'm going to insert a clip of him saying the pledge when he came across his new flag I bought him -sorry that you have to tilt your head to enjoy! It's very moving and I want him to never forget what Memorial Day (and July 4th and Veteran's Day for that matter) is [are] supposed to be about. I want him to focus on the way Americans should get a lump in their stomach when they hear of a family losing their home in a fire or natural disaster, even if it's thousands of miles across the country. Or the way tears should flow when they hear of an abduction or a mother losing her child in gang violence. Or the heart sick feeling one should feel when they hear of a child having to hug their parent for the last time for deployment in times of war for God knows how long. That is America and the other "stuff" that I wish was different - too many to name - are not the focus of the day which celebrates those who died fighting for a country of which they were proud enough to defend.

As I descend from my soapbox - I salute the troops, still fighting or in memorium, and say Thank You from the very bottom of a full heart and tears welling.

Spring has Sprung... Just in time for Summer!

I know I'm behind and most people got into Spring back in the end of March, but the past week has really been the start for us. Maybe it was the rain; maybe it was delaying the inevitable full blown weeding; maybe it was the fact that we knew this year we had to say 'uncle' and finally pay to have a professional do some things we weren't doing successfully... who knows but it's in a good place as of today. We've had the mulching, the edging, the digging, the pulling, the planting, the cultivating, the watering, the weed-killer, the transplanting, the raking - not to mention the regular mowing and weed-eating. Sometimes it's relaxing - mainly the planting and the weeding (no I'm not crazy) - especially first thing in the morning before it gets hot and when Parker's at school - the air is crisp and the birds are chirping... very good time just to be with my thoughts. The yard, some new chairs, a new outdoor light fixture (actually I've changed it out three times so far since I decided to replace it a few weeks ago) and getting rid of a bunch of crud at a yard sale this weekend should all conspire to make it a very beautiful end of Spring for us. They also are great reasons for me to continue to procrastinate writing and submitting! I can't believe it's halfway through May and I have not submitting anything since I submitted to Red Cygnet at the end of December... I definitely needed a break but it's about that time. I just bought a new laptop (to help boost the economy :) for writing in changes of location but haven't taken advantage. I even got an optical wireless mouse from my boys as an early mother's day gift since I don't really like that pad at the bottom of a laptop that's supposed to be a mouse.
I'm hoping since Parker and I have planted a little veggie garden, I'll find inspiration while nurturing the tomatoes, cucumbers, and squash! Here's to making my tan thumb a little green...

Last Gush... I promise!

This is the last gush I'll make about the Middle Place - but I just wanted to insert this clip of the author reading an excerpt from the part of the book where her [future] husband meets her father for the first time and the comic emotion people can relate to - the last minute cramming about the family and the secret hope that everyone will mesh. Enjoy!

http://http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FRQpmSVV9SA&eurl=http://www.kellycorrigan.com/blog/

See if this works a little easier for folks because there have been some problems with opening the video previously inserted...

In Awe...

Cover of the Middle Place

There are a couple kinds of people that blow me away... one is when people are amazing yet humble and the other is average people who become great (although a part of them was always great undercover). My point is that I'm not easily in awe. The day before yesterday, I opened my blog and was speechless. There was a comment with my last post that I assumed was a fellow blogger or my friend who loves to give me an encouraging word on my blog every now and then. When I put on my last post that I read a new book which I enjoyed and gave kudos, I had no idea the author of the book (Kelly Corrigan) would be reading said post and commenting subsequently. I was so taken aback because not only does she stay very busy with a family and writing career of her own, but in addition has speaking engagements and fans out the wazoo to correspond with daily. I'm deeply touched that she took the time to comment and was only regretful that it was one of those times that I just wrote and wrote but didn't really proof - I thought 'I can't believe the sentence structure and wording that she's seeing... not to mention the fact that I really didn't recap fully what the essence of the book was because I didn't want to give anything away to anyone who may want to read it...' my own insecurities but I wish I had taken a little more time before posting if I thought about anyone but own group reading it! Needless to say I have told anyone that I have referred the book to that there was a surprise comment on my latest blog post and it just endears them even more so to The Middle Place (cover pictured above). Anyone who reads it... I would love to chat about it if you'd like. It really resonated within me on so many levels.


I'm in the process of applying to be on the Governor's board of visitors to VCU... (Governor Tim Kaine) - keep your fingers crossed on that one. I just feel so passionate about VCU and hopefully it will be reflected in my application. I definitely realized how "undecorated" I am until I filled out the application - asking what appointments I've received in the past; which merit awards and/or scholarships I've received previously; which degrees or honorary degrees I possess... I've got a BA in English which I am extremely proud of, but an honorary PhD I'm not! Hopefully passion will supersede awards and honorary degrees! My mom, who is contemplating applying for the very same appointment, has definitely instilled a drive in me that can challenge those blank spots on the app... we'll see how it goes down :)

New Beginnings

It's been a while since I've blogged, but definitely not for lack of material. My son and I went to New York to celebrate my parents anniversary and stayed with my grandparents. Parker has been a couple of times before but didn't remember - it was so great. I felt like a little girl but trying to still carry out my "momly" responsibilities. He was so comfortable from the very beginning and would follow my grandmother around the house - which I loved. The trip was relaxing and I always have fun just being able to do fun things with Parks that we don't normally get to do.

I'm also working with some folks at VCU to continue with the sale of the book but maybe in a different direction. Not sure how that works as there have been lots of shifts around. Getting back into town and back of the swing of things has taken all week! I couldn't believe it took that long, but between the house, activities at school, t-ball, and meetings... it's already Saturday!


I'm hoping to work a book fair at the end of May and it may be the swan song for promotions (for right now anyway). I've been able to do so many great things with the book and promoting has been great - but I think it's time (unless of course I get special requests). I'm absolutely ready for some new beginnings in the literary world. Speaking of literary... I just read a great book recommended to me by a friend called "The Middle Place," by Kelly Corrigan (Sp?). It's autobiographical and her story about a father-daughter survival story. She battled breast cancer and her father (and his family) had a history of prostate cancer - the story really revolves around her being someones daughter while balancing the childhood of her own children and the fact that they needed her. It was touching and entertaining and I could really relate to so much of it. 2 thumbs up!


Who knows what the next month has in store... stay tuned!

April Fools!

Well, I finally heard from Red Cygnet and they are shifting some things around in their '09 catalog and they are going in a different direction. The good news is (which is actually how they posed it to me) that my submission was among the top ten that were under consideration before the re shifting. There were 90 submissions - so I have to keep the positive in perspective with the disappointment. I was very grateful that the publisher took the time to write me a personal note - that doesn't happen very often (extremely rare). He did say that they will keep in touch, because they did really like my submission, for future catalogs (the catalog is how they sell their books to distributors - like any books they publish in Fall of '09 is their Fall '09 Catalog - seems simplistic, but you never know who's familiar). Hopefully "The Panacake Dance" will happen at some point. There was a great illustrating team with it as well - fellow SCBWI member (one of their illustrations below). The most disappointing aspect is that there have been two different projects that have been really promising with a great illustrator (renowned) on board and it just didn't come to fruition. Anyone who has submitted in this industry knows that it is so super hard to break through, but when you get so close I think it's the hardest.

Illustration by Livia Coloji

Back to fun stuff ~ April Fools! I would've loved for my message last night to have been a prank from the fun loving publisher, but it was a couple of hours too early pacific coast time! I played a few pranks this morning - switched out my husband's contact case for one with just solution, switched my ipod for his (to which he's addicted) and gave my son water instead of the allergy medicine (which is clear) that he was wincing to take. It was pretty fun - I also emptied my hubby's underwear drawer by hiding every pair... my son enjoyed some green milk with his cereal ... hopefully he'll enjoy his lemon wedge mixed in with his orange slices I put in his lunch :)! That'll teach them to fall asleep before me...Have a great April Fools everyone!

Motivation

I'm still waiting to hear from the latest publishing company and it's so hard to get motivated on next steps while in limbo. I'm anxious to decide on future marketing of the "Ram" book as well as finding out if this next book is happening. I purposely haven't looked in my market books or read the newsletters from publishing companies about upcoming happenings - it's too tough to keep starting and stopping. I did meet with the owner/developer of Richmondmom.com today and she is going to feature me and the book in an upcoming story on her site. It's very exciting and it's always great to make a connection. I hope my next post can announce a new publication! Until then, I don't know if I can motivate to the next project - two open ended projects are enough for now...

Live, Love, & VCU Basketball!

Through my blog I feel as though I paint this picture of day after day being this dance through the meadows with my son where we are bare foot and sun is shining - very far from it. But I do want to stop and enjoy the moments (literally sometimes- just moments) that are great and remember them. One of these moments happened this weekend at the regular season closer for the VCU Women's basketball team. Parker and I went with my niece's youth basketball team on Sunday and it was so much fun. We got to sit court side (the girls team that we went with didn't sit with us of course) and were able to meet the whole team afterward during an autograph session. Parker got into each shot and loved the band's cheer - which I'm singing in my head right now - he is so much fun how he is starting to really get into sports (watching and playing). This is totally due to my husband's ongoing love of sports - especially ACC basketball. The Rodney Ram project has given me a whole new respect for the importance of sports for children. It obviously teaches them about exercise, but it also teaches them about taking turns, being a team player, sharing, keeping calm, the joy of winning and the ability to lose.

The team we watched were a strong and impressive team. They won - by a lot. They were encouraging each other and defended each other during some bad calls. They were great on defense and on point on offense. I'm excited about being able to teach Parker the art of working really hard to become great at something - it doesn't have to be sports. It can be academics, athletics, arts, music, juggling, lawn mowing - whatever!! It's about passion and the feeling that comes from working hard towards something. As we saw the seniors on the team being congratulated by their teammates and their families, the pride was palpable. This game was the culmination for these girls of driveway practices, youth leagues, high school and middle school teams, recruiting, not to mention all of the school work interspersed!

It was a really great day - and at the root once again... VCU Basketball! Go Rams - good luck during the CAA tourney this weekend... we'll be there cheering you on!

Pies, Pies, Pies!

Last week I spent some time with the 4th grade at Echo Lake Elementary and it was so much fun. We split it into 2 groups to be a little more time efficient and with each group I went over some basics of writing and creating. We brainstormed and then outlined and I took the ideas that we put together and actually formulated them into stories. The two groups were very different in approach and overall tone surprisingly, but they were very similar in their themes. Each of their main ideas were centered around pies! It was so funny when I started to brainstorm with the second group and they started to shout out nouns and adjectives -they were so similar. They wanted the center of the story to be about a pie, they wanted it to involve a potato and a monkey!! I kind of tweaked the ideas a little so they would lead in different directions. One story was called "Contest on Pie Planet" about friends who attend a pie eating contest on Mars which is hosted by a mutant. They have to eat their way off of the planet after the contest leads to a food fight started by the mutant! They are able to find their way to a clearing to "jump off" of the planet and land back on earth. The other story is called "Oh My Pie!" It is about two friends who do everything together and have a garden together as well. They discover a giant pie growing in their garden one day and decide to water it with hot sauce. The pie is enormous, they dig in and instead of the pie getting smaller -they do! The spicy pie (they soon discover) gives them the ability to breathe fire and melt the remaining pie and they go back to normal size. I added a little twist to the end of each of them when I wrote it for the classes to have -but that will be between the classes and I :)...
It was so much fun to brainstorm with the students - especially the ones who were really into it. It is kind of tough to stay focused (for me anyway) when I would see some students who thought I was the most boring person in the universe - but that was definitely not the norm amongst this group. I'm going back this week to do some one on one editing with the students on their own pieces. I am really looking forward to it. I would post a picture but I need to clear permission first!

Grateful

I love Willow Tree Sculptures - especially because their titles are so short but meaningful. I think my favorite ones are "Peaceful" and "Grateful." I don't have grateful but it's on my list! Gratitude is something I forget about sometimes and get caught up in everything that's annoying me instead of focusing on what truly (at the core) makes me grateful. One of those things I was reminded of last night as my husband repeated our son's prayer for the night to me. When Parker prays with Chip, Chip encourages him to thank God for one specific thing from his day - yesterday he said he was grateful that he gets to see me. I was floored - he said he loves to see me because it makes him feel good. The reason it floored me was because he is an absolute daddy's boy - admires everything Chip! The fact that my boy sees me more than really anyone in his life (maybe a tie with his teacher now) and still gets happy when he sees me - that's what I'm most grateful for!

I am also grateful that I have a book that people are able to read... even people I don't know. That is my favorite thing about writing - I can reach people (if not with this book, hopefully with books and articles to come) that I don't even know. I love it when people talk to me about my words. I'm still a beginner in the grand scheme of things and I'm still so green in so many areas, but I'm very grateful for the occasional editors who take the time to give me feedback and edits rather than just rejections!

I guess I'm trying to focus on the things I can change rather than the things that I can't - (I've never been to an AA meeting, but I can absolutely respect the serenity prayer!). Who knows - hopefully it will help cushion the blow from some of the rejections...

A Great Moment...

This past Saturday, I worked a VCU alumni event with the book and it was so much fun. There was a huge turn-out (I only sold one book, but a huge turnout at any rate). A DJ, prizes, BBQ, and alumni from a huge range of graduating classes and schools. It was so cool to have Parker enjoying the music and Rodney Ram (taking pictures and dancing with alumni) and loving telling people about the book. It was only topped off by the fact that it was Homecoming weekend at VCU. Because VCU doesn't have a football team, their game is basketball. I was able to be hooked up with tickets for the game so we went over after the event.

The game was so packed with excitement - people were lined up around the block (literally) 2 hours before the game. It was sold out pretty early on but black and gold and posters surrounded the outside of the pavillion. The three of us had our VCU garb on also - we fit right in! Parker doesn't usually go crazy at games - in fact, he loves to cheer for the opposite team for fun - I was really crossing my fingers that he would love the game... he did! He was so into it, it made it that much more fun - the Siegel Center was sold out and packed... both teams played well but VCU beat Towson by over 20 in the end. The best part of the whole night was after the game...

Our seats were right on the court and beside the opening to the Rams locker room. We were able to stand right by the opening to cheer on the players at the end of the game. Maynor, Shuler, Anderson ... they all stopped if a kid asked to talk to them or for a signing of a t-shirt. Very sweet with the fans and very humble. Best of all - one of the things I doubt I'll forget anytime soon - was Parker stepping into the opening after the players passed waiting to talk to Coach Grant. I have only met Coach Grant a couple of times and each time he was just as humble and strong of speech and character as you would imagine, but he just blows me away! To watch him on the court with the boys - just commanding everyone and they turned to him for guidance (not fear) throughout the game... and by the way - he wins games! Coach Grant bent over and got on one knee to listen. His team was waiting, some reporters were waiting, the director of athletics was waiting and he stopped to talk to my little 5 (and 1/2) year old so sweetly. He gave Parker a hug when they were finished and a pat on the back. I take pictures of everything - too many really - I had my camera in my pocket and I just couldn't stop watching this moment (that Parker will hopefully remember for a long time) of this amazing coach (saught after by big programs all over the country). I didn't want to run the risk of missing it trying to get my camera right and focused and not getting the picture in time. I was so excited and proud of Parker because that setting is definitely intimidating. That moment will definitely stay in my head for a long time - hopefully Coach Anthony Grant will be here for a long time, too!

Go Rams!

My Birthday Wish...

So my birthday is tomorrow and I've got mixed feelings. I'm not one of those folks who gets all depressed about birthdays (I may feel differently some day - but my mom doesn't either - so I don't think so) but I don't really know how to feel about it. Every year I feel a little wiser (whether I am or not - I feel it) because I try to learn more about myself all the time and from my mistakes and relationships. That's what life is about to me - I don't want to ever stop that - that's when people become stagnant and stop evolving. Being a person who is averse to change, this isn't an easy thing for me - but absolutely necessary.

Here's what I'm looking at right now... (1) waiting to find out (next week) if a publisher is interested in a picture book submission that I teamed with an illustrator to do - keep your fingers crossed for me (2) waiting for my All About Kids article to come out at the end of next week/beginning of the following week -hope people learn something from it (3) trying to follow the advice of my own article and get my work life back on track in the new year (26 days in!) ... I have so many ideas floating around in my head. I really need to get some outlines going and get back into the market. I'm way out of the loop on what's new with what publishing companies and what submissions are hot right now.

Here's my birthday wish ~ acceptance... every variation of the word. I want to accept people for how/who they are; I want for others to accept me just the way I am; and I wish for others to also accept each other for the way they are. Totally hokey, but differences are good... great actually. Accept them!

It's not you, it's me...

I've thought for a long time that friendships are like romantic relationships in a lot of ways - only harder. You invest time and emotional deposits into a relationship with a friend who may or may not pan out for the long haul. The reason friendships can be more difficult is that you can't break up with a friend - there aren't conversations about you just not being compatible... it's not you it's me. It's also harder because you can't just be a friend who plays the "friend field." When you run into a friend and you are with another friend - it's awkward; let's be honest. The whole - 'why didn't she invite me for coffee,' or 'we went here for lunch last week together' is so hilarious to me. Are you truly expected to call every single friend you have every time you want to do something? I'm not even touching on the disconcerting nature of families doing something together and running into a third family while doing so - are we expected to get a table for 25 every time my family wants to do something with another family? At least when you have a romantic partner (boyfriend, girlfriend, husband, wife - whatever) - you don't feel bad when you run into someone when you are on a lunch date with them or having coffee or shopping.

The funny thing is that men don't have that problem - my husband has different degrees of friends - almost seasonal friends if you will. Friends that he talks to much more during certain sport seasons. Most men could care less if one of their buddies includes someone else and not them on activities. If they do, 9 times out of 10 it's because the woman in their life pushed them into being bothered by it (which they probably still aren't bothered but say they are to get the woman off of their back). Women who try to arrange their husband/boyfriend's social life is very annoying - ex: 'Oh -so and so is just going to be hanging around the house on Saturday, why don't you have Bob call him to do something.' Ugghh ... that's a whole other topic all together.

My trouble is that I give way too much personal info too quickly when I'm building friendships - this gives leverage in the friend transition stage. I end up trying to prove that I can open up and in doing so go way overboard in that department. Let's just cut each other some slack... like I always say about my son - there are much worse things in life than having too many people enjoy your company. Put yourself in other people's shoes when it comes to friendships - don't act like the stalker friend who spies to see who went where with whom and when... I've seen it done - trust me; it's not pretty.

Here's to friends who pan out - you know who you are

So far so good...

So far, 2008 is pretty good. I have a good feeling of professional things to come this year as well. I just submitted my "real mom" article for February - All About Kids Magazine. It turned out to be what I was hoping for and with the patient editing back and forth with the managing editor, I think we reached a nice consensus. I also submitted (at the buzzer of 2007) a picture book with storyboards for illustrations and 2 final illustrations - I should find out about that by February 1st as well - so I guess I should say February is looking good so far!

I went and spoke with a 1st grade class earlier in the week and the class was adorable! They were so attentive and asked really good questions about the book, writing, VCU, and me. One of my nephews was in the class and his classmates made him feel lucky because he can look at the book any time he wanted to - very sweet. They wrote me the cutest "Thank you book" wherein each of them took a page to write a note and draw a picture - some were of me reading and some were of basketball and some were of them with me. Very creative and thoughtful of the teacher.

There are a few fresh ideas floating in my head, but I feel like I should sharpen some old manuscripts first. Sometimes it's good to let a 1st draft breathe for a little bit to get fresh ideas in and old ones that seemed fun at first out. It does frustrate me that there are some stories that I've submitted over the years that are technically still in limbo. You never know - I had an e-story published after the company called about a submission from a year and half prior. I'm absolutely not complaining, but I am so impatient - that's tough for me.

Hope everyone else's '08 is "so far so good" as well!~